Personal Development

Letting Go by Tammie Day

I have a ‘little’ problem. Yes, it’s only ‘little’ now, it used to be much bigger. Anyone who knows me would probably describe me using words like, ‘driven’ or ‘focussed’ or ‘determined’, these are all codes for ‘CONTROL FREAK!’

Throughout my journey over the past 10 years or so I have come to understand that much of my pain and suffering (and also the pain in the arse that I have become to other people) has stemmed from my ‘compulsive’ desire to have things just so. I write lists, have expectations, and boss people around. (My mother says I have been bossing her around since I was 4! Poor woman).

My attempts to control everything from the weather to how the guy at my local fruit and veggie shop displays his fruit (I’m not joking), eventually became too much for me and I had to find a way to ‘let go’.

In my counselling sessions with clients, I often see my own controlling ways in the burdens that other women carry. So in honor of surrendering our fears and in having faith that the sky will not fall if the tins in the cupboard are not stacked in a particular order (of course the tinned tomatoes should all be lined up together, what’s wrong with you people!) or the clothes are not hung using the correct pegs! I urge you too to let go and to experience the freedom that comes from ‘unclenching’.

This is a handout I’ve had for some time, unfortunately, it does not have the author acknowledged.


To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off, it is the realisation that I can’t control another.

To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself.

To let go is not to care for, but to care about.

To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge, but to allow others to effect their own outcomes.

To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go in not to deny, but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.

To let go is not to criticise and regulate anyone, but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.


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