I’ve been meditating for some time now and I’ve become aware of the impact my thoughts have, and I’ve also become aware of the choices I now have in regards to these thoughts, but I thought I would just share something I recently read by David F. from www.MindfulnessAndMeditation.com
“When you are Mindful or when you are meditating, you will almost for certain notice that there are a lot of thoughts going on in the mind. Maybe you feel something or see colors, light or other things. Or maybe the mind is calm and quiet. The big secret is simply: Who or what is watching what is going on in the mind? Or if the mind is silent: Who or what is watching the silence? If you are watching what is going on in the mind, you also have to watch the watcher!”
I remember seeing a movie, ‘School for Scoundrels’ with Billie Bob Thornton’s character teaching a group of down-trodden men to develop more self-worth and confidence. He asked these men, “Who here owns self-help books?” They all put their hands up. “So basically you are all seeking help from an idiot, is that what you’re saying?”
Now I’m only talking about myself here. I’m not suggesting anyone else is an idiot, but sometimes I just have to question how aware is the person who is watching my thoughts! This person seems to take these mind thoughts as truths without any questioning or reflection. This person can at times even fuse with these thoughts so the person actually becomes the thoughts they are thinking.
So for some time now I’ve known that I can’t actually trust my thoughts. They’re fleeting, they change, and they’re informed by a whole lot of things I have no control over. But a new revelation to me was that I couldn’t always trust the person (me/my ego) who is watching the thoughts either! So now in my mediation practice and when I’m being mindful in everyday life, I also watch myself and sometimes I have to say to myself, “Tammie I don’t think you’re being your most aware self at the moment. It’s ok, I still love you, but sometimes you’re an idiot.”
So now I have someone to watch the watcher, it gives me a second chance to catch the trickery of my mind. Oh bugger! I just realised that the watcher who’s watching the watcher, just called me an idiot! I may need to find someone to watch the person, who’s watching the person, who’s watching my mind …